Me … A Geek … No way!

Fiction. Travel. Tech.

Confessions of a Criminal Mind

with 4 comments

He has a charge sheet filed in his name! No, he did not murder or steal but … he committed an offense he didn’t know would require so much time and moolah to absolve from.

Day 1 : The Crime Scene, Encounter with the Men In White

Stop! Traffic Cops wave as he takes a U turn near NIMHANS. The pillion is carrying his helmet. Neither is he carrying his wallet nor any documents. The wallet wouldn’t have helped in any case, thanks to the theft at his place a while ago. The Wallet and with it the Driving License / PAN Card … were all gone.

Sans the wallet there was no scope for bribery. Meanwhile, the pillion stood a good 10-15 yards away having nothing to do with the whole episode or probably too scared that he would be shot in the balls if he came any closer. After some altercation, the man in white decides to seize his bike. The pleas for paying the fine and taking the bike fall on deaf ears. He decides to give in … after all he had broken the law.

Does it matter if it was the first time? No!

Does it matter if it was for his pillion and that otherwise he would have been lazing around at home? Hell, No

(He was commuting in an auto to office since the last few days)

Day 2 : The Redemption Scene, Encounter with the Men in Black

11AM finds him at the gate of the High Court. He is hushed away saying that such petty cases are outside the purview of the HIGH court and that he should try at other courts. Other courts ? Oh ya … there was a subject called Civics which he studied long long ago. Guess it was time for a practical session!

He makes eye contact with 2 Women in Black (Female Lawyers) as he gets down the auto at the Magistrate Court. Upon inquiry, they tell him that he could try at the Traffic Cell or that Mayo Hall (another Court) could be the one. As he makes his way through the crowd, he feels a pat on his shoulder. What ? An old mate ? here ? He turns back.

“Traffic Case” – quips the Man in Black (Mr. L) and smiles.

He is a little surprised – “Yes … But how do you know?”

The smile turns turns into a chuckle – “That brown receipt you hold. I have been doing this for 22 years”

He sees Mr.L as a godsend with all the wisdom and experience to help him get back Madonna in no time.

They walk into the courtroom. He is asked to wait in the queue and so he does. A cursory glance reveals dozens of people waiting for their cases to be heard. He seems fazed!

Mr.L reappears and gestures him to step out. 200 bucks is what is needed to file a case, he is told. He tells that he is low on cash and that he needs at ATM. “How much do you have now?” asks Mr.L

He hands over a 100 rupee note showing that a mere 10 rupee adorns his newly purchased wallet and goes out to scout for an ATM. Mr.L quickly exchanges mobile nos. and asks him to call once he has the cash.

He is commanded to wait near the parking lot after he informs of having the cash. Mr. L shows up in sometime and says that the case has been filed. He feels a tad relieved. Mr.L assures him that since he has the theft FIR, the charge of driving without DL would be dropped and that the total penalty would be around 1200 INR. But since, the original receipt has not reached the court from the traffic department (the person in charge was on night duty and some blah blah), his case would be fought only the next day. He is dismayed. Another visit to this nasty place! But he could hardly do anything about it. After all, he had broken the law. Before he leaves, Mr.L creams off another 500INR as his fees for the case.

Day 3 : The Court and the Police Stations, Justice Granted

1100: He is at the Magistrate Court and calls up Mr.L He is asked to wait near the Coffee Van. Mr.L shows 15 mins later and asks him to autograph some document. He hurries off asking him to wait.

1130: Mr.L has a new story to tell. The judge won’t believe in the FIR. It could be forged for a few bucks. He is enraged but keeps his anger under wraps. Mr.L asks for the fine amount – 2000 INR. He argues saying that this was not what was told a day before and what is the increase for and also that he does not have that kind of money. He is made to shell out 1000 bucks and told to return only after 1330 as the judge shows up only post noon (What wonderful working hours for a public servant?) Mr.L had dived into his wallet and scanned it in a split second. He is asked for another 100 on grounds of some paper work. Phew!!

1145 : He has nearly two hours to kill. Dreading the traffic, going to the office / home for a few hours is ruled out and so he decides to while away time in the neighborhood. Lack of a decent restaurant or coffee shop in the vicinity results in, him reaching Lavelle Road. Mocha is on his mind but CCD is where he lands finally. Chicken Cilantro Sandwich and Chocolate Fantasy (SIN!!!) please his taste buds. He ponders over calling up friends at UB City which is just a stones throw away but spares them his sorry tale.
Instead he surrenders himself to Investment Biker and time flies.

1345 : He is back at his new found hangout, The Magistrate Court. His new found crony, Mr. L as usual asks him to while away some time at his (Mr. L’s) favorite hangout – The Coffee Van. He desperately looks towards the gate hoping that the ordeal gets over soon. He tries to spot Mr. L in the sea of black coats coming out of the Court but in vain. Instead he has a missed call from Mr. L (talk of clients bearing all expenses!) He calls back and is asked to look to the left. Mr. L waves from the parking lot. He hangs up and moves in that direction.

He: Sir, I hope it is done …
Mr.L: (Beaming) Yes!
He: Thank You so much. Now, what am I supposed to do
Mr.L: Give me the cash
He: Okay. How much is the fine
Mr.L : Give me 1000 more
He: 1000? I already gave you 1700 since yesterday. Can I see the fine receipt? I don’t have that much.
Mr.L: First give me cash and I will get the receipt in half an hour
He: Half an hour? But you said it was done? I’ll wait for half an hour. You get me the receipt only then I’ll give more money
Mr.L: What is this? How much you have now?
He: (Opens his wallet and shows two 100 rupee notes) That is all I have
Mr.L: What is this? You said in the morning that you will give 1000 more
He: I never said that
Mr.L: I fought your case
He: Okay! And, what did u fight for?
Mr.L: That you were without helmet
He: And you lost that? What else?
Mr.L: That you did not have DL?
He: Even that waiver is denied in spite of me submitting the FIR? Sir, you have not been able to contest any of the three. I have been pleaded guilty on all charges! And you ask for more money
Mr.L: (Agitated by now) This is not right. Give me 1000.
He: I don’t have. I work in a call center. This is month end (Shows him the 200 Rupees in the wallet)
Mr.L: Get 800 from the ATM
He: The account is empty. I will have money only after salary. Then I could pay you.
Mr.L: Give me what you have
He: 200 Sir. That is all
Mr.L: (Digs out the fine receipt from his pocket) When will you give me 800
He: 1st September Sir
Mr.L: Give me 200 (Passes on the receipt to him after taking the cash)
He: (Reading the fine receipt) This states only 700!
Mr.L: We have internal understanding
He: Hmm … What is that supposed to mean?
Mr.L: You come on 1st
He: Sure Sir! Don’t you worry! (Uttering profanities under the breath)

He felt like wringing Mr.L’s neck there and then but chose not to. Getting to Madonna was top priority!

Well, the trauma did not end here. He reached the police station mentioned in the receipt but was told that there is another traffic police station. That state of vehicles dumped in the courtyard made his heart skip a beat. He thought of Madonna and hoped for her well being. He had to bear with another hour of wait (since the Sub Inspector was on a lunch break) before he was handed the keys. Madonna did not look weary. She was, thankfully, in the same condition as two days back. He put on some music and wore his helmet. There was a slight drizzle. It felt good to ride back after two days of pain and suffering!!

Lessons learned

    In accordance with popular belief – the judiciary system is in a mess. Loads of corrupt officials have made a mockery out of it and it is a nightmare for a common citizen. Instead of they (police/lawyers) acting the public servants, it is the common man who is a puppet to their whims.

    It is 10 times easier and convenient to bribe the traffic policeman at the offense scene than pleading guilty in the court of law. (Sounds so hollow – The Court Of Law!!)

    Last and most important – Wear a helmet and carry relevant documents at all times. You may have to face the music, otherwise. I practiced this without fail … until Sunday, the 24th of August 2008!

Written by Sangfroid

August 30, 2008 at 4:50 pm

4 Responses

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  1. damn man, pathetic experience….

    hope your Madonna is doing fine..

    Kunal

    September 1, 2008 at 12:26 pm

  2. yikes!!! lots of machine oil (hugs) to madonna!

    Ani

    September 1, 2008 at 6:31 pm

  3. Thoda adjust maadi with the system! 😉

    notmanish

    September 4, 2008 at 10:55 am

  4. Kunal, yes it was too bad! Madonna is in good shape. Thanks!

    Ani, Thanks! Madonna sends back hugs 🙂

    Mani, That is exactly what I did.

    Sangfroid

    September 4, 2008 at 10:10 pm


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